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| okay...things went from really really bad to better to really good to bad...to feeling to worst yet.
first..cassie is moving really really soon. im not sure of the date but iv been real upset the past couple of days because of it. she is my rock...she is amazing and i love her to death. and im gunna be really sad when she leaves. and then i got grounded the other day because of reasons that im not going to say because they suck! and now i can't go out tonight. and then this morning...things got nasty.
I HATE ERIC!
i trusted him...and i got a phonecall today from racheal sayin that they are going back out and bla bla bla and then eric called. and i was PRAYING that he was only going to say that she was just making it up...but i got smacked in the face. he acually told me he loved her..and to stop calling him.
AND TO THINK I ACUALLY WOKE UP TODAY TO HEAR THIS SHIT!
i hate guys...and i hate myself for trusting him. grrr grrr grrr. w*e leave a comment even tho i don't want yall to.
*Broken angel* | | |
| OMG I HAD THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!*!*
first i would like to say that i am sad because i couldn't see eric...but im still happy cuz i will see him tuesday or wed. but my gifts this year were the BOMB!
okay first i got my coat that i*V wanted since forever ago...its white...with fur at the top..its from abercrombie and it was 200$ wow!*!
i got an iPod nano. that was like 250$ its as big as a credit card...but its amazing. i love it. but i don't know how to work it. i dunno...im kinda scared to use it.
third...i got alot of cloths from abercrombie...and i got 5 shirts from holister. i love them! my parents went all out this year. lol*
but the things i didn't like....grr...
i got a waterbottle. eww. who does that?
i got socks! thats the worst gift ever...eww
and i got earwarmers.thats so weird.
haha my parents were so drunk tho when they were buying my gifts tho. they bought me the 40 year old virgin...unrated. wow! hah* okay well im gunna get off here to try to figure out how to work my nano thingie. love yall.
MeRrY ChRiStMas!
BLONDIE*
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| not alot has been going on except i got sugery and i hurt. lol* iv been down on the couch since last thursday and i hurt so bad. people have been waiting on me hand in foot and i love it. but i hurt so bad. and im really confused about life. The last time i wrote i was really upset. i was pmsing i guess. but this time im alot better. i know what i have and i know what i don't have. But i do have alot of good stuff. christmas is coming up and im so excited because i know im getting alot of good stuff.im getting my coat from abercombie that im like inlove with!*!*!
but the things im really confused about. Im inlove with eric. head over heals inlove with eric. i just really feel like he doesn't even like me. and his brother is telling me that he is dating RACHEAL....(*i hate her sooo much*) and like...its been like 2 months since we broke up...and thats his choice. if it was up to me we would still be toghether. and thats what i want. but he is just really confusing. and i told myself the day after he broke up with me that i was going to get over him and not talk to him anymore...but i called him 4 times yesterday to see what he was doing. and he didn't call me once back. and i hate that. and then i have andrew morris to worry about. i have alot of stuff to worry about with him that im not going to say because im not totaly sure if i am or not....i will post it if i am or not. hehe* but yeah. i have him and his problems. i just want to be happy with eric. and i can't. i dunno...really confused.
this is a really long entry and im sorry but its needed.
my sugery went really reall good. i got a breast reduction last thursday and i was inpain alot...but the past couple of days have been getting better. diane has been over twice and kaelie came over last night after the game. and anthony is coming over soon...i hope. grr. he said at like 12 he was at its almost 3. ohwell. well im going to get off here. its a really long entry. I love you!
XoxO<3 I love you Eric*!
*blondie* | | |
| umm i really have nothing to say excpet that this is going to be the last time that i write on this.
The past couple of weeks have been the worst. highschool is really alot to handle. and im desiding on wether i want to go to wayne anymore.my sister always told me that higschool is going to be the best couple years of your life..and so far its sucked. i*v really been hurt this time and i guess im giving up. im tired or pretending that everyting is okay. for the last 3 years...its been nothing but a smile. and im sorry but thats not me. im not happy and this weekend has realy crossed the line.
its so hard to pretend that everything is okay when girls steal your bookbag at school and you walk down the hallway and you hear " MOLLY SUCH A BITCH" its really hard to put a smile on every single day when that happens. im sorry but this is my breaking point and im done.i thought i had a trusting problem before...well i was wrong
(*silverstein-smashed into peices*)
Never Again.
I'll slit my throat with the knife I pulled out of my spine.
Maybe when you find out that I'm dead,
you'll realize what you did to me.
And if my lungs still let me breathe,
would you be there for me.
If I can make myself believe,
I'll give you back what you took away.
No, I won't let it go.
Douse myself in gasoline.
So don't save me when you come into the fire.
I'd rather die than have to see your smile.
You made me swear I, I can't sleep.
Realize all these things that you took from me.
Smash my heart (you made me swear)
into dust. (you made me swear)
Suffocate my mind. (you made me swear)
Tear at me from inside. (you made me swear)
Smash apart what you created.
How can i ever stop you from crushing my soul?
It was, it was yours, yours to begin with.
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| okay..were do i even begin to say how upset, mad, angry, confused..anything possible feeling imaginable is what im feeling.
i had a lil birthday party yesterday. it was just suposed to be abunch of my closest girlfriends right. well only diane, kaelie, and jamie frickin showed up. im sorry if i affend anybody is this entry...but its only nessisary.
*first*...okay i understand about aubreys situation because her sister or something got sick and she needed to babysit right..well i*v been tryin to get cassie here for like 2 weeks. she has known about this for 2 effin weeks. well she didn't show up...she didn't call or nothing. and im sorry...but a friend doesn't do that.
*second*...nicole...! i*v been askin her for a couple days if she wanted to come over ya know cuz we were all just chillin..eating frickers...hangin out. but she never called to say she wasn't coming or anything either. im sorry..but thats just plain out rude. Like Michelle had a reason not to come either and i understand that.
*third*...megan johnson...! - said she wasn't sure if she could come..bla bla bla bla bla and i read on her a way message saying she was out bowling with friends. im sorry megan if you read this...but thats about a bitch. and if yall are reading this...yall really deserve to understand how it feels...to only have 3 friends show up to a BIRTHDAY PARTY that was expected 10.
~*~*~*~*~*now i kno who my *T*R*U*E* friends are*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
okay...the forth thing. i was kinda talkin ya kno to andrew M. from yellowsprings. i wouldn't even say we were dating because i would never want to do that to eric because im still totaly inlove with eric...but i called andrew to see what he was doing...and he didn't fricken know who it was. he thought it was (*another girl*). he was like so are you bringing the movies and still comin over? and i was about to have a cow. thinkin to myself...are you serious. so i hung up on him..and he called back like 5 minutes later...and basiclly told me that we couldn't (*go out*) untill he gets back into huber heights!!!! he is crazy if he thinks im acually going to let him walk all over me like that. so on top of about 7 missing friends last night...i got dumped by a person that i wasn't truly going out with!*!
yeah...i would say it sucks to be me right about now.
but im really happy that jamie and diane and kaelie showed up. yall just need to relize that a phonecall...would have been nice. and if you think we are acually talkin after this..and im talkin to nicole,and cassie...yall can kiss my lil white ass!
happy birthday me on the 22nd!
*MOLLY*
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